What if we got curious instead of labeling intent?
When we label intent, we judge others, and ultimately ourselves.
What if instead of our label, we got curious instead?
When we get curious, we give people the benefit of the doubt, and then our label becomes an opportunity to be compassionate and empathetic.
Cocky becomes “I wonder if they are proud”.
Hateful becomes “I wonder if they are hurt”.
Stupid becomes “I wonder if they are misinformed”.
Inconsiderate becomes “I wonder if they are desperate/unaware”.
Insane becomes “I wonder if they are confused”.
Terrible becomes “I wonder if they are scared”.
Rude becomes “I wonder if they are having a bad day”.
We create our own drama when we label the behaviors of others. Sure, inherently, there is “good/helpful” and “bad/harmful” behavior to a degree, but most of our frustration with others comes from within US, not from within them. Their behavior is activating something in us, or a part of us, that we also have an issue labeling.
Example: For me, as soon as I learned to appreciate myself, give myself grace and forgive those who once shamed me, I stopped calling other guys “cocky” behind their backs. I learned to extend them the same grace, positive intent and respect I had learned to give myself.
One of the most powerful pivots I’ve ever learned in my life is to stop and become curious anytime I start to feel anything other than bliss, when I start to judge, when I start to blame and when I label the actions of others.
Because of this, I have virtually no drama in my life. No, I am not making that up! I’m not perfect, but this is something Rachel and I really put into practice daily, and it’s helped us find substantial peace, grace for others, grace for ourselves, and a whole lot less drama in our lives.
Photo because… I love my wifey and she surprised me with a kid-free lunch date today!